The Unforgiving Life of a Knight In Stomach Pain
by Well-Well
Summary: Borus's life is weird. Really weird.


The Unforgiving Life of a Knight in Stomach Pain:

"Chris has gained a lot of weight lately," Borus pointed out to Percival, who leaned over the side of his chair to get a better look at the chubby knight.

"What's she doing?" the knight of gale asked, sitting properly again and throwing a handful of cheese doodles into his mouth.

"Dunno," Borus responded, reaching his hand deep into the unknown confines of the cheese doodle bag. He shoved a handful of the stuff into his mouth. "Looks like she's ordering a pizza or something." Percival nodded, and the two munched happily on their cheese doodles. Borus tried to grab another handful, but Percival pulled the bag away.

"Hey, get your own, you overzealous ironhead." Borus looked at Percy in shock.

"You taking the barbarian's side or something? What, have you been hanging around them lately or something?"

"Do you have a problem with ending your sentences in 'something' or something?"

"I'll end my sentences however I want to… jerk." The swordsman of rage forced his hand into the cheese doodles bag, taking a huge handful.

Chris waddled over from the pizza man stand. "Look! I got one with pepperoni, anchovies, avocado, beans, ice cream, m & n's, lard, and Lysol. Wanna try?"

Borus stuck out a slightly orange tongue. "You know, Chris, you've gained a lot of weight lately. Maybe you should lay off the pizzas for a while. You know the lizard clan threatened five times now to attack us if we don't stop dumping our nuclear waste in their little hole thingy, and here you are eating pizza."

Chris removed a huge slice of pizza from the box, cramming it into her mouth. When she stopped choking, she said "Stop worrying. You're such a priss', Borus, I mean really. Salome can take care of it."

Percival looked over idly. "Salome died. Last month. He was stabbed to death by a rabid blade bunny. Jeez." He looked away again, eating more cheese doodles. "You were at his funeral, you know."

"Oh," Chris said, shoving another slice of pizza into her mouth. Just then, Louis walked into the area.

"Chris, there you are! I've been looking for you all over. I thought you had agreed to that diet. Weighing 506 pounds is not healthy you know!" A gurgle from Chris's huge stomach interrupted him. The pavement beneath her body cracked. "Anyway, it's time for your daily walk." Louis disappeared around a corner, returning with a forklift. He lifted Chris off the ground and drove off in the direction of the Zexen forest.

Borus grabbed another handful of cheese doodles. It was only then that he noticed Luce approaching. He glared with disdain at the Karayan, but Percival smiled sweetly at her. "Hey there, lover boy," Luce said to Percival seductively. Percival chomped on a cheese doodle before offering her one.

"You!" Borus yelled at Percival. "So that's why you've been so… anti… ironhead lately. What have you been doing?"

Luce smiled at Borus, responding for Percival. "Oh, you know, little som'im som'im here, some som'im som'im there. The works." She turned to Percival. "Come on, my sweet little fence post, time for your yoga class."

"Yessss, deary," Percival hummed, following Luce toward Brass Castle's exterior. Borus gaped after him, only shaken from his stupor when Chris zoomed by on a forklift. Louis was running madly after her.

"Help, help! Forklift on the loose!" Borus gaped after them before licking his fingers.

The blonde knight suddenly woke up, sitting up straight in bed. He glanced around, seeing that everything was in place and back to normal, before laying himself back down and turning over. But to his horror, a huge lump on the bed next to him began to move, turning over, to reveal Chris's huge quintuple chin and a nose. "Something wrong, honey?"

He screamed.

Borus woke up again, glancing around his bed. There was no Chris, no chins, and he was alone in his room. He sighed, laying down again. "That's it," he mumbled to himself. "That's the last time I let Leo talk me into eating a rabid blade bunny."


End file.
